What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
another moral hangover. fuck.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
