she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm always down for nudity.
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