One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
