the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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