it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
