when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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