It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
