those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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