I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
is it fun? or sober?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
