like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
