This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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