You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
