Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
