My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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