it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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