Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
