I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
