yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
