OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I cut my penus on the lid.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
