ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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