so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
