its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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