your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can text with my tongue
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
