Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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