at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Randomize
