I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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