i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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