sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
