what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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