Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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