I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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