Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
