she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
