So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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