Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Pants are for mortals
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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