I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
