Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
