omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
