**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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