I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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