I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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