carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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