What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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