plz talk dirty to me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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