He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
