there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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