would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
