If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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