Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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