Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
