Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
