Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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