Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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