i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
