well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
